2009 Boston Marathon - Race Report Prologue
Huntsville, AL
April 24, 2009
When I am looking for motivation, I can find it in many places, but only a few that really seem to move me. One of these places is a self-inspirational movie based in Boston, which ironically, is where my latest adventure and the basis of this story is focused. Now others might not have the same reaction to this Academy Award winning movie as I do and that is probably one of the reasons why it is so special to me. Each time I watch 'Good Will Hunting', I gain strength from many of interactions between the main characters, Matt Damon, Robin Williams and Ben Affleck. When I am done watching it, I want to tell people close to me that I love them, I want to tackle tasks I've been putting off in my life, I want to plan new adventures and I want to live my life in a way that matters. It is a feel good movie from which I find inspiration.
One the scenes in particular that I watched while on the airplane for this year's Boston Marathon is conversation between Damon and Affleck's characters toward the end of the movie. In this scene, Chuckie (Affleck), has just asked Will (Damon) where his lady friend (Minnie Driver) has been. Will has just responded that she moved to California about a week earlier. Chuckie is disgusted that Will has let her go without chasing her, as they were clearly meant for each other and that was Will's chance at love and his opportunity to get out of South Boston.
Here is the dialogue that goes on between them in this scene, with a few vulgarities replaced.
CHUCKIE
Look, you're my best friend, so don't take this the wrong way, but in 20 years, if you're livin' next door to me, comin' over watchin' (bleepin') Patriots' games and still workin' construction, I'll (bleepin') kill you. And that's not a threat, that's a fact. I'll (bleepin') kill you.
WILL
Chuckie, what are you talkin'...
CHUCKIE
Listen, you got somethin' that none of us have.
WILL
Why is it always this? I owe it to myself? What if I don't want to?
CHUCKIE
(Bleep) you. You owe it to me. Tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be fifty and I'll still be doin' this. And that's all right 'cause I'm gonna make a run at it. But you, you're sittin' on a winning lottery ticket and your too much of a (Bleep) to cash it in. And that's bullshit 'cause I'd do anything to have what you got! And so would any of these guys. It'd be a (bleepin') insult to us if you're still here in twenty years.
WILL
You don't know that.
CHUCKIE
Let me tell you what I do know. Every day I come by to pick you up and we go out drinkin' or whatever and we have a few laughs. But you know that the best part of my day is? The ten seconds before I knock on the door 'cause I let myself think I might get there, and you'd be gone. I'd knock on the door and you wouldn't be there. You just left. Now I don't know much, but I know that.
Now it may not seem clear why I mention this in terms of the Boston Marathon, but that is what I will try to explain.
Going back to May of 2007 in Green Bay at the Cellcom Marathon was when I originally met the qualifications standards set forth by the BAA making me eligible to run in the Boston Marathon. Realizing that this was a dream come true and the end result of years of hard work, I quickly signed up to run in April of 2008. It was a wonderful experience being a first time runner at Boston and I will never forget the memories that I have from the race and the entire trip. I think that I accurately captured the range of emotions that I went through during the marathon in my post race write up. I didn't run my best time, but I was able to qualify for the 2009 running, in case I did not re-qualify at another marathon. After returning home and moving on to other races, the memories of Boston faded a little and time passed. In training for and competing in Rocket City Marathon in December, my goal was to break three hours in the marathon for the first time. In the build up from this race, I had little thoughts of returning to Boston. I thought that I had done it once and that was enough. I had forgotten about how amazing it felt to run from Hopkinton, passing by the Wellesley College girls, up Heartbreak Hill, through Kenmore Square, and finally down Boylston in front of thousands of fans. After hitting my goal time in Huntsville, I decided that I would give Boston another shot. This time with less to prove than going for the first time, knowing that I was already deemed worthy, having qualified and run previously. This time it was much less about me, but more about you.
I feel like I have been blessed with a gift; one that I did not realize that I had until in my early thirties. The ability to run, endure pain for long distances and do it very fast has been bestowed upon me. To me this really is a gift, as there are a limited number of people in the world who can do what I do. I am not the best at what I do, but I appreciate the talent that flows through my veins. I have never taken this for granted and am thankful for every step that I can take when running or racing. I feel like I have been given the opportunity to run and go on these amazing adventures and combine it with my passion for writing to capture it all and share it with everyone who wants to follow along.
See, for me not to take advantage of the winning lottery ticket that I am sitting on with my natural ability, ability to recover quickly and my sheer determination to excel would be like cheating myself and all of you. I see other people who have so much talent, yet don't take advantage of it, thus squandering it away. Like Chuckie says to Will, he would do anything to have what Will has. I realize that I'm blessed with this gift and I am not going to let it waste away. Maybe it is because I am continually testing the limits of my own heart that I can't imagine not trying to find out what I could possibly do; what my limits truly are. I may be scared as hell each time I go out, but if there was not a risk of failure, the reward of success would not feel as great as it does. So instead of just sitting on that lottery ticket and never seeing what my come from it, I am going to continue to give it everything I have, for as long as I can, and experience life at ten miles an hour.
If I didn't run and let these fleet feet of mine propel me forward, I feel like I would be letting both of us down.
I am actively working on composing details from the race which will be out in the next few days. Until then, run strong and long!